It can be hard to find balance in the business arena. There's a misconception that you must be ruthless and manipulative to get the results you want. But I'm here to tell you we're enlightened folks, and learning to be assertive!
Actions speak louder than words. You've probably heard that old adage a hundred times. But it's true, communication is estimated 55% body language, 38% tone, 7% words. In our rush to get one hundred and one things done a day, we don't take the time to stop and think about what we're saying when we aren't talking. So... step 1: learn to assert yourself without saying a word!
As a professional in today's business arena, it is critical that you master the skills of nonverbal communication to project a more confident, poised and assertive image. Think about the leaders in your organization. How do they carry themselves? Interact with others? What gestures, facial expressions and vocal tones do they use? Observe the people you admire, and note how they use nonverbal communication to their best advantage. There are a number of ways you can enhance your own nonverbal communication skills, but let's begin with the tone of your voice.
The Sound of Assertiveness: Many people equate power and authority with a deeper, more masculine voice. If you're a woman, you probably don't want to adopt a bass voice, but it may help you to practice evening out your tone, and perhaps lowering your pitch. Women who have very high-pitched, girlish voices may have trouble being taken seriously as they move up the ranks in their corporation. And guys who remind others of Pee-Wee Herman may find the corporate ladder a lot steeper to climb. To discover what your voice really sounds like to others, make a recording of yourself. Then listen for trouble spots. Does your voice rise in a questioning tone at the end of sentences? Do you sound tentative, whiny, or unsure of yourself? Practice speaking in lower, more modulated tones and then record yourself again, and see if you notice an improvement. It may take some practice, but you can learn to use your tone of voice more effectively!
The Eyes Have It: People with poor self-esteem often display low confidence by avoiding eye contact. Their lack of eye contact may be interpreted as being shifty or dishonest as well. If you have trouble meeting others' eyes when talking to them, try to build up your eye contact quotient a little at a time. Practice on people you feel more comfortable with, and then see if you can maintain greater eye contact when talking to people who make you feel uncomfortable, such as bosses or superiors. Remember, too much eye contact isn't a good idea either. Staring at others for too long can be seen as aggressive and intimidating.
Your Body Language: Your posture and the way you walk communicate volumes about your attitude, confidence, and assertiveness. When you are standing still, don't cock your hip and slouch with your weight on one leg. Stand tall, feet slightly apart, head and neck straight, with hands cupped at your sides. Try not to round your shoulders. When you walk, keep your back straight, your head up, and take purposeful, even strides. When people who lack confidence walk down the halls, they may slouch and look down as they walk. They sometimes hug the walls, as if they don't deserve to take up any more space. And they shuffle or take quick, hurried steps. Check your walk and your posture in store windows to make sure you are walking like a leader!
Hurray, you've unlocked the first step to becoming assertive! Next, we'll combine your new found body awareness with intention for maximum results.
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